The doctor and the girl
by profiler20
Summary: Meredith has a very special encounter. One that will confront her with her dead mother and her past.
1. Chapter 1

Fragen zur Büro-Organisation:

The Doctor and the Girl

Chapter 1

It was a regular Friday in Seattle Grace Hospitel. Many surgeries, crowded floors, exhausted staff and lots of people waiting for medical care or informations about their loved ones.Chaos. Maybe not so regular after all.

Miranda Bailey, chief resident, was in her element and yet so busy she had hardly time to take a breath. There had been a huge accident on a freeway just outside Seattle. A truck with a sleepy driver had crushed in a bus full of commuters and some smaller vehicles were also affected. An accident so widespread it was a guarantee for a packed up day. Probably non-acute and follow-up surgeries would keep everyone swamped with work for the weekend and possibly next week..

But not enough, now one of the nurses told Bailey, Dr Webber,the chief of surgery, requested her to take care of a delicate patient matter. That was the last thing any surgeon could use when needed in the OR. Bailey´s initiate feeling of resentment to that assignment proved to be acurate. The patient matter was very delicate indeed and possibly very time consuming. It was about an 8 year old girl, who was one of the many victims of the accident. She and her mother had been in one of the smaller vehicles. Their car had been hit frontal by a severed car part. The mother at the wheel was afflicted with severe head trauma and several hematomas and cuts to the rest of the body. She lost too much blood too quickly and died before the paramedics even arrived at the scene. Her daughter in the backseat was however very much alive and wouldn´t stop screaming until the paramedics finally got her and her mother out of the car, but she wouldn´t let anyone go near her, let alone examine her for injuries.Actually she only stopped extensive screaming when she and her dead mother were put in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. As she seemed fine except for a little bruising where the seatbelt had hit, nobody tried to get in contact with her being busy with many other victims anyway. As soon as they got to the hospital, they obviously had to get the mother to the morgue which lead to another tantrum from the girl which eventually led her to flee into the hospital where she hid in an out-of-use patient room.

Bailey listened attentively until the nurse had finished. She felt instant sympathy for that scared little girl that just had to watch her mother die right in front of her. Bailey knew that girl deserved help and the best care she could get, but she also knew it couldn´t be her. She had three surgeries coming up, lifes were at stake and noone could cover for her. They already had too few surgeons as it was. She would nevertheless make sure that girl was in good hands.

First she ordered the nurse to contact the father or any other family member available plus a child psychiatrist who would hopefully take over at some point.

But until then, something else needed to be done. Bailey knew that the only one with the girl was a paramedic from the scene who was probably annoyed and clueless. As Bailey talked to the nurse, she found out it was even worse then that. The girl was in the patient room all by herself for 15 minutes now, as the paramedic couldn´t stand the screaming that started whenever he tried to talk her. So who was qualified best to deal with this unusual situation? However,it was hardly a question of qualification how it was normally measured in the surgical program. Bailey thought of all her former interns, most of whom were residents now. One of them would have to do this.

Izzie came to mind first as she was the one most likely to get emotionally invested with patients which was what the girl needed. Someone who cared. But on the other hand a nice smile and kind words wouldn´t do the deal here. Someone had to push through to the girl and as much as Bailey appreciated Izzie´s empathy she was too honest, too straightforward to understand the dark place in which the girl´s mind was in right now. No, Izzie´s brightness wouldn´t help here.

George similiar to Izzie tended to care about patients as well and even often managed to build up a connection to them but he also had a habit of talking too much and that girl had already chosen not to communicate, not by talking anyway. His many words would probably shut her up even more. So no to George as well.

There was Alex who certainly had things in common with the girl. He knew anger, loss and pain. That much she knew about Alex Karev but she was also aware of his frequent insensitivity and impatience which would do no good here.

Cristina was possibly the one she could rule out most easily. Bailey did not refuse to acknowledge that Cristina had a heart, a good heart even, but she was least of all others a kids person as she had experienced herself when she once forced her to babysit her son. And frankly Cristina didn´t care for much else than exciting surgeries.

That only left Meredith. Meredith Grey was from all of Baileys proteges the most withdrawn and quiet. Yet she somehow managed to get the most attention regarding both her professional and personal life. Everybody always gossiped about her controverse relationship with her boss,neuro surgeon Derek Shepherd and those who weren´t interested in her love life, were intrigued by the fact that she was the daughter of Ellis Grey, a woman famous for her surgical skills. Meredith however continued to have a close relationship with Derek and proved to be able to step in her mother´s enormous foot steps actually seeming to be just as talented.

Meredith had indeed a very strong personality, but she had issues, maybe more than her colleagues did and she didn´t like to discuss them with other people,maybe sometimes with Cristina. After all she recently almost died trying to save a man´s life in the horrible ferry accident that had shaken up Seattle. That same day her mother had died of a heart attack and she still kept it together no matter how hard it was. Plus she not only knew what it was like to shut people out, but how also how to put up with her demons and most importantly knew how to pull through hard times and keep going. Significant was also, that Meredith just experienced the loss of her mother and could hopefully relate to the girls´s agony. Besides Meredith knew dark places. Bailey thought that was hard to miss just by looking at her. After all she wouldn´t talk too much, be insensitive, disturbingly light or indifferent. She would be calm and patient if Bailey estimated her correctly. That was decided then. Meredith it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Bailey found the residents Izzie and Meredith accompanied by intern George in the pit.

Bailey (harshly): Grey!

Grey: Yes. Dr Bailey.

Bailey: I need a favour. Now.

Grey: Uh-huh?

Bailey: There´s a little girl up in 303, all by herself, talking to noone.

Grey: So she was in the accident?

Bailey: Yes. She just lost her mom and we couldn´t find neither a psychologist nor the father or any other family member yet.

Grey (confused):So… you want me to…

Bailey: … go and take care of her. Calm her down and if possible, examine her for internal injuries.

Grey: But why are you asking me? Why don´t you ask Izzie? Izzie is great with people and with children, I think.

Izzie (smiling): I am. I mean I love children.

Bailey (impatiently): No matter how much Stevens loves children, it doesn´t matter to me. I´m asking you, Grey. You got a problem with that? Grey?

Bailey nailed Meredith down with a challenging look and raised eye brows.

Grey: Well, no. I mean, of course not. But what about my interns? George and the others?

Bailey: Izzie will take a few of them and Cristina the rest. Isn´t that right Stevens?

Izzie: Yes, I will.

Grey: Okay,but how do I do this, I mean-

Bailey: Hey. I can´t do your job for you. I got my own. So go. GO!

Meredith rushed off with Izzie and George watching her, looking slightly irritated.

Bailey: Stevens, you have no time to stand around at all. You have to take care of Grey´s interns and her cases! And George you stay with Izzie and help her out! So move!

She didn´t have to ask twice. Izzie and George walked off quickly.

Meredith however by now was walking slowly down the hall with a scary feeling in her tommy. How was she supposed to do that? How on earth was she supposed to know how to handle a troubled kid? What did she have to do with…all this? Meredith stopped right in her pace. Of course. She had just lost her mother too and was the former troubled child, the now-damaged doctor. Meredith choked, then cleared her throat and reminded herself that none of this was to blame on the poor kid and her injured pride was not an issue right now.

It was about a girl who was going to be stuck with the worst psychologist you could get. Herself. She had been called dark and twisty, scary and damaged and that was who she was plus many more things. Still she would do her best. Not that this was surgical. Not surgical at all, but obviously this girl was her job now and she could not disappoint Bailey. Finally Meredith saw the paramedic in front of the room 303. Meredith introduced herself and said she would take over. The paramedic didn´t mind, but claimed he had orders to keep watch on

the girl and would therefore stick around. Meredith didn´t mind either and asked for the name of the girl.

Paramedic (unsure): Ah, Karen? Kate? Something like that.

Meredith looked at him in disbelief: You don´t even know her name?

The paramedic shrugged: Um, whatever.

Meredith shot a very reproachful look at him, shook her head and then focused on the task ahead of her which still made her feel slightly nauseaous as she could not figure out a plan yet. She took a deep breath, hoped for the best, prepared for the worst and walked through the door.

A girl, Meredith estimated somewhere between 8 and 10 sat huddled up in a corner and when she spotted Meredith, she said angrily: Leave me alone. I want my mom!

Meredith who meant to say something decided otherwise and sat down on the wall opposite of the girl, saying nothing. A while nobody spoke, then:

„Won´t you say something? What do you want?"

Meredith: „I would like to know your name."

Girl: Tell me yours first.

Meredith: Alright. I´m Meredith. Meredith Grey.

The girl´s eyes widened, then almost like she was forced to, a little smile wiped away her frowned forehead.: Like the color?

Meredith, who was a little confused, replied: Yes. Like the color. What´s so funny?

The girl looked sucpiciously at Meredith, evaluating her and finally chose to answer:

Well, my name is Kirsten. Kirsten Green.

Now Meredith was the one to smile: That´s indeed funny. We both have colors as a last name.

Outside the room Izzie and Alex had curiously joined the paramedic and were peeking in.

Izzie: Huh, they´re smiling. She´s making some progress.

Alex: Oh come on, that´s never gonna work? Why would she be lucky with the kid if nobody else was?

Izzie, who was giving Alex an unnerved look, was watching Meredith and the girl closely:

I´m not sure anyone really tried to talk to her and they just seem to like each other.

In fact, Meredith and Kisten could have been sisters as they shared some common features. Kirsten had blue eyes as well though bigger and brighter, and her hair was darkblonde just like Meredith´s though Kirsten´s wasn´t naturally straight but wavey.

Kirsten wasn´t pretty in a general sense but her extraordinary face was very compelling indeed. Her eyes were sparkling with energy and seemed very sharp which was an outstanding contrast to her rather soft features.

Meredith and Kirsten still looked peaceful which prompted Izzie to say: You see? Meredith can handle it.

But Izzie had forejudged. In this moment Kirsten jumped up, throwing what seemed to be a major tantrum.

Alex: Dude. What a nutjob. And I was right.

Inside Meredith had decided to speak openly with Kirsten and now had to deal with the consequences.

Kirsten (screaming): She´s not dead. You have to help her. WHY WON´T YOU HELP HER?

Meredith: We would, if we could, but we came too late to- She was hurt too badly.

Kirsten repeatedly yelled NO and continued to stomp on the floor, screaming and crying all at the same time.

Meredith felt totally helpless, her stomach tightened and she felt immense sympathy for Kirsten, but was also clueless what was going on. Still, she couldn´t have given a reason, but she somehow knew or sensed that words weren´t helping here and therefore fell silent. Meredith had decided to go with her instincts, to follow her gut and she wasn´t doing that because she had tremendous trust or good experience with her instincts. She did it just out of lack of options. She dimply didn´t know what else to do and she hated that feeling. She also hated Bailey, at least a tiny bit, for sending her of all people to this impossible situation that was already straining her nerves. While Meredith was bearing a grudge against Bailey, Kirsten kicked against the wall and yelled some more. Meredith more and more got the impression, Kirsten had to do what she did, no matter how uncomfortable that was for her and others. She just had to let it all out, all of… whatever she felt. Nevertheless it was painful for Meredith to watch her burning out herself. She simply wished she could do something to ease Kirsten´s pain. But what could that be?

Meredith knew that losing someone forever led to a pain that could not be taken away or made easier. Death ended completely or for her part, she could just as well say, Alzheimer ended completely. She would never be able to forget that one horrible day her mother was lucid after years of dementia not using the little time to catch up but to once again call her only daughter a disappointment and made her feel worthless. Meredith herself angrily told her mother, she was ordinary because of her, because she had to take care of her, because she had to take up with her and this akward situation. That same day Meredith went to her mom in the evening telling her that she was hoping for another chance to get to know each other, hoping they would find a cure for alzheimer, but it was too late. Her mother´s mind had already gone back to that dark place where she had lived in the past, only remembering snippets of her life and could say nothing more to Meredith than that she reminded her of her daughter.

Meredith had left, devastated and sad. Not much later Ellis Grey had passed away leaving Meredith feeling relieved and desperate at the same time. Never had Meredith told her mother how grateful she was that Ellis didn´t abandon her, just like her father, Thatcher Grey, did. Ellis was there during the holidays, all of Meredith´s birthdays, on Christmas and the days in between.She might not have had deep affection for Meredith, she might not have cared enough to work less and be around more, but nonetheless Ellis was always Meredith´s mom, no matter how tough things were.

Despite being wrongly –one might add –called a disappointment and a failure, Meredith was grateful to have had a mom after all. Now she was gone, never to return and the last words Meredith had spoken to her, were words of anger, words of bitterness. The death of her mother was painful leaving a secret hole in Meredith life,on the one hand being relieved not to have to argue and fight anymore, on the other hand there were sleepless nights in which Meredith wanted nothing more than to get another chance to experience something more with her mom than accusations and suppressed emotions, something more like an actual mother and daughter relationship. She would also like to know her mother, the woman, not the surgeon, wife, or mother, but the woman Ellis Grey,better, but that was never gonna happen now.

In this moment someone tipped on Meredith shoulder:

„Meredith? Miss Grey?"


End file.
